Well fuck. It's that time again. We gotta line up the crazies and size em up for 18 full months and figure out who is not even remotely qualified to "run" this country. Let's dump a shitload of money into their campaign funds so they can all run smear ads on each other. All of the potential candidates really don't give two shits about the American folks. They are more concerned with the Popularity contest that they have entered, which, if elected, they get to be the poster boy or girl(c'mon Bachman/Palin, what a great ticket that could be. Get fucked.) for the Not-So-Free-Thinkers of American Society, which means the 68% of society that still believe that public elections have meaning. I personally feel that our country would benefit greater if we took all of the corporate and private campaign contributions, coupled with the tax dollar campaign funding that just seems to happen on its own accord, and we built a big Bob Seger Laser Light Show, of course with supplementary pyrotechnics.
Elections don't really matter. I'm not saying, "Don't vote," I'm just saying to vote for whoever you want. Write in Raymond Carver, or Whinnie the Pooh. Make your vote count for you. Elections don't matter because whoever is elected eventually will succumb or concede to the fact that the role of President is a role of patsy, no matter what. Face man for the complete and total fuck over of a nation. There are no jobs. There is no money. We are at a loss. What now?
I know! Let's seriously spend what little money we have producing television commercials for some of the biggest pricks in the nation. Here are my proposed campaign slogans...
"I fucked my secretary on my wife's death bed. Please vote for me."
"I fathered a child with another woman while my wife went through chemotherapy. Trust me with all of your Union and Labor needs."
"I sent a picture of my penis to the Pope. There's your fine line between separation of church and state."
Sorry about that last one. It was weak, but what do you expect? We pay these politicians to fuck us over all of the time.
I propose that all of the potential candidates must compete an obstacle course, much like Wipeout!, and then of course be subjected to a close quarter living situation, much like big brother, then maybe they could be subjected to a beauty and talent competition. These are, unfortunately, the qualities our country has decided are important.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Uhhhh.... What's a debt ceiling?
I'm gonna be pretty honest here. I don't know what a debt ceiling is. I always thought of debt as more of a downward spiral. A ceiling doesn't make much sense. A cellar sounds better. But I don't make the rules. In fact, the people that make the rules aren't even giving a shit about making rules or decisions right now. Before I get too involved in this very ill-informed rant, let me assure you that I haven't a clue about what I am discussing. I work a lot. When I'm not working, I am trying to help raise my two daughters with my wife, while she puts herself through school. We stay on the go constantly, which makes it hard to keep up with current affairs and political issues. So my vague understanding of this current situation is that our country is in terrible debt, and mostly to itself. Sure, China owns 6% of the multi-trillion dollar debt that we have, but the majority is owed to the Social Security Administration and the National Treasury. Now forgive me if I'm wrong, but it more so seems like the American Government is like a wayward college student who owes his parents a shitload of money, and his dormitory drug dealer $60 for his last eighth of weed. What makes this situation even worse is that the folks that we cast votes for and trusted enough to elect to represent us in tough times such as these are acting like asshole eight year olds on a rundown park playground. Now this is where my uninformed assumptions really begin. Some dude named Boner thinks he can solve everything by cutting spending and amending the Constitution or whatever. I'm sure that's fine and whatnot, but not everyone he works with seems to think so, so that deal is out the window. I mean, really, his idea probably sucks, too, but there isn't really anyone with an agree-able plan. The biggest issue here is that we have believed the American Dream to have no ceiling since its conception, and now we are a Capitalist paradox. Anyone can fulfill their dreams, as long as the average dream is working two jobs to support their families and dying too young due to stress and cancer. So yeah. I don't really know what is going on right now, honestly. I do understand that the bullshit ideals that our country has sold us have gone belly up, and now we are expected to pay for it. I don't see congress taking a pay cut, and I don't really see any progress being made. I'm not really sure why we have publicly elected officials anymore. They should all be appointed by the corporations that own them. It would ease the pain of them continually fucking over the general public over and over and over again. As for the debt cellar, I sure am glad that the NFL lockout ended. It was the perfect good-news distraction to be made right before our country's economy completely collapsed at the hands of absolute idiots.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Lesser For Better or Worser...
We are riding the line here. There is enough stress and strife building up that we don't know whether to get on board or throw ourselves in front of the train. Government is questionable now, and in some parts of the world, the people are winning. They are tied to the tracks and derailing dictatorships. I think it is amazing to see such efforts to better their lives, and I hope that the trend continues. I hope that the idea of revolution can continue to bleed over onto others.
America is in need of revolution. If we continue the current path then we will find ourselves disbanded to a point of incivility. Everything that this country was built on is steadily burning away into the ether. Our culture is comprised of ridiculous bullshit. Popular culture is obsessive to the point of law suits. We have no identity. There is no individuality. If you don't "like" it on facebook then you are a fool. We heave our money at companies to feel that we are a part of something. We write blogs and tweets and status updates but we don't really talk to each other. We have been branded. We are slaves to an ideal culture that doesn't really exist. Celebrities are iconic only because they are plastered everywhere we turn. We adopt their standards because they are shoved down our throats. All of a sudden, steroids and methadone are okay. They are performance enhancers. Rape only happens when gold diggers are involved. It is okay to hit your girlfriend if you have an album in the top ten or you are a starter for the Steelers. We laugh when Lindsay gets a prison sentence. Our eyes and ears are glued to the news when famous folks fuck up because it makes us feel better. Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Ben however-you-spell-his-last-name, they are the lighthouse. All we have to do is be better than that?
What's worse is that we have allowed ourselves to forget that the celebrities that we focus our interest and disdain upon are just as human as we are. They might have a bit more money and privilege than the lot of us, but what would you do? If you could do anything you wanted, what would it be? I'd love to think that I'd stop working for a bit, but I fall into unrest so easily.
I don't want to lose sight of my previous point. The epitome of the problem lies in our complacent acceptance of what "culture" is fed to us. Behind that "culture" are corporations looking to please demographics, based on generalized studies that apply to about 2% of the population. The government takes these numbers and plugs them into some equations built by a small group of people that have enormous brain power and they come up with a viable solution to all of our problems; the 98% that is left over. Now we see funding for potentially helpful government programs get cut. We see our parks get left behind come spring time when they could use just a bit of improvement. We see taxes get "fairly" homogenized to save face come campaign donation time. We continue to sell ourselves short because we are either too polite or too unwilling to stand up and say "FUCK OFF!"
We work hard, everyday. At least most of us do. And a large percentage that doesn't, wants to. Why should we suffer the lesser when we know we deserve better.
America is in need of revolution. If we continue the current path then we will find ourselves disbanded to a point of incivility. Everything that this country was built on is steadily burning away into the ether. Our culture is comprised of ridiculous bullshit. Popular culture is obsessive to the point of law suits. We have no identity. There is no individuality. If you don't "like" it on facebook then you are a fool. We heave our money at companies to feel that we are a part of something. We write blogs and tweets and status updates but we don't really talk to each other. We have been branded. We are slaves to an ideal culture that doesn't really exist. Celebrities are iconic only because they are plastered everywhere we turn. We adopt their standards because they are shoved down our throats. All of a sudden, steroids and methadone are okay. They are performance enhancers. Rape only happens when gold diggers are involved. It is okay to hit your girlfriend if you have an album in the top ten or you are a starter for the Steelers. We laugh when Lindsay gets a prison sentence. Our eyes and ears are glued to the news when famous folks fuck up because it makes us feel better. Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Ben however-you-spell-his-last-name, they are the lighthouse. All we have to do is be better than that?
What's worse is that we have allowed ourselves to forget that the celebrities that we focus our interest and disdain upon are just as human as we are. They might have a bit more money and privilege than the lot of us, but what would you do? If you could do anything you wanted, what would it be? I'd love to think that I'd stop working for a bit, but I fall into unrest so easily.
I don't want to lose sight of my previous point. The epitome of the problem lies in our complacent acceptance of what "culture" is fed to us. Behind that "culture" are corporations looking to please demographics, based on generalized studies that apply to about 2% of the population. The government takes these numbers and plugs them into some equations built by a small group of people that have enormous brain power and they come up with a viable solution to all of our problems; the 98% that is left over. Now we see funding for potentially helpful government programs get cut. We see our parks get left behind come spring time when they could use just a bit of improvement. We see taxes get "fairly" homogenized to save face come campaign donation time. We continue to sell ourselves short because we are either too polite or too unwilling to stand up and say "FUCK OFF!"
We work hard, everyday. At least most of us do. And a large percentage that doesn't, wants to. Why should we suffer the lesser when we know we deserve better.
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